求助英语小品,五个人演的,要幽默点,谢谢!!
英语搞笑话剧《孔雀东南飞》
作者：佚名文章来源：本站原创点击数：7713更新时间：2005-11-27
Wanderseveryfivemiles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue本文转自：www.coffbar.com小品剧本，简历封面，免费电影
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?
MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)
Act1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum?
JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law”.
L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?
JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour
son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
L:Mum,I’mback!
LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?
L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.
LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
tome.Lookatyourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?And
I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter
Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo
andtellhim.(下)
L(惊愕):What?Themayor’sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)
Act3本文转自：www.coffbar.com小品剧本，简历封面，免费电影
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下)Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.
JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet?
J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!
Act4
(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough?
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible!
AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo
withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride.
B:Haveyougotanyexperience?
J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)
Act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(J和三强盗跃至台中)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree.
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)
L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去）
(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)
(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou?
L(哭状):Ihurtalot!
J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine.(下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme!(跑下)
(音乐起CanYouCelebrate)
谁有英语的搞笑小品剧本
Apoundofflesh
BassanioandShylockcome
Bassanio:Hello,Mr.Shylock.Longtimenosee.Howaboutyoubusinessthesedays,Imeanlendingmoneywithinterests.ButnowIwanttotellyousomething.Wouldyouliketogivemeahand?Canyoulendmethreethousanddollars?
Shylock:Threethousanddollars;well
Bassanio:Ay,Sir,forthreemonths.
Shylock:Forthreemonths;well.
Bassanio:Forthewhich,asItoldyou,Antonioshallbebound.
Sholock:Antonioshallbebound;well.
Bassanio:ShallIknowyouranswer?
Shylock:ThreethousanddollarsforthreemonthsandAntoniobound.
Antonioenters
Bassanio:ThisisAntonio.
Shylock:Antonio,manyatimeandoftenintherialto(交易所)，youhaverated(估价)meaboutmymoney,andIhavebornitwithapatientshrug(我总是忍气吞声，耸耸肩膀，没有跟您争辩)，forsufferance(忍耐)isthebadge(特色)ofallourtribe.Youcallmemisbeliever(异教徒),cut-throatdog(杀人的狗)，andspitup(吐痰)onmyJewishgarments.Wellthenitappearsyouneedmyhelp:youcometome,andyousay‘Shylock,wewouldhavemoney’,yousayso,youdidvoidyourrheum(吐唾沫)uponmybeard,andfootmeasyouspurn(弃绝)astrangecur(杂种狗).WhatshouldIsaytoyou?ShouldIsaydoghasmoney?Isitpossibleacurcanlendthreethousanddollars?OrshallIbendlowandinabondman’skey(像一个奴隶一样)，withabatedbreath(低声下气)andwhisperinghumblenee(恭恭敬敬的),saythis:FairSir,youspitonmeonWednesdaylast,youspurnedsuchaday,anothertime,youcallmeadog,andforthesecourtesies(礼貌),Ilendyouthusmuchmoney.
Antonio:Iamasliketocallyousoagain.Tospitonyouagain,tospurnyoutoo.
Shylock:Why,lookyou,howyouangry.Iwouldbefriendswithyouandhaveyoulove.
Bassanio:Thiswerekindness.
Shylock:ThiskindnesswillIshow.Gowithmetoanotary(公证人)，sealmethere(在哪儿签约)，yoursinglebound;andinamerrysport(不妨开个玩笑).Ifyourepaymenotonsuchaday,insuchaplace,suchsumorsumsasareexpressedinthecondition.Letforfeit(罚款，没收物)benominatedforanequalpoundofyourfairflesh,tocutoffandtakeninwhatpartofyourbodypleaseme.
(Threemonthslater.Thedayofpaymentbeingpast,thecruelJewwouldnotacceptofthemoneywhichBassanioofferedhim,butinsisteduponhavingapoundofAntonio’sflesh.AdaywasappointedtotrythisshockingcasebeforetheDukeofVenice,andBassanioindreadfulsuspense(焦虑)theeventofthetrial(审判)。
people:IncludingDuke,Bassanio,Shylock,Antonio,Portia
Duke:What,isAntoniohere?
Antonio:Ready,sopleaseyourgrace(有，殿下)
Duke:Iamsorryforyou:youhavetoanswerastonyadversary(对手)，aninhumanwretch,uncapableofpity,void,empityfromanydramofmercy.(我很为你不快，你是跟一个心如铁石的对手但当庭对质，一个不懂怜悯,没有一丝慈悲心的不近人情的恶汉。)
Antonio:Idoopposemypatiencetohisfury,tosuffer.
Duke:Goone,andcalltheJewintothecourt.
Bassanio:Heisreadyatthedoor,hecomes,myLord.
Duke:Makeroom,andlethimstandbeforeourface.Shylock,theworldthink,andIthinksotoo,youleadsthisfashionofthemalice(恶意)，tothelasthourofact,youwouldshowyourmercy.Andnowexecuatethepenalty,whichisapoundofthispoormerchant’sflesh.But,touchedwithhumangentleneeandlove,forgiveit,glancinganeyeofpityonhislosses,weallexpectagentleanswer,Jew.
Shylock:AndbyourholySabbathhaveIsworn,tohavethedue(应得物),andforfeitofmybond.Youaskme,whyIratherchoosetohaveaweightofcarrionflesh(腐肉)thantoreceivethreethousanddollars,I’llnotanswerthat.But,say,itismyhumour,isittheanswer?Whatifmyhousebetroubledwithrat(老鼠)，andIbepleasedtogivetenthousanddollarstohaveitbaned?What,isitaanswer?Somementheyarelovenotagapingpig(张开嘴的猪)，somearemadiftheybeholdacat,asthereisnofirmreasontoberender(回答).SocanIgivenoreason.
Bassanio:Thisisnoanswer,youunfeelingman,toexcusethecurrentofthecruelty.(你这冷酷无情的家伙，这样的回答可不能作为你的残忍的辩解。)
Shylock:Iwanttopleaseyouwithmyanswer.
Bassanio:Doallmenkillthethingstheydonotlove?
Shylock:Whowillhateanythinghewouldnotkill?
Bassanio:Everyoffenceisnotahateatfirst.
Shylock:What,wouldyouhaveaserpant(大毒蛇)stingyoutwice?
Bassanio:Forthethreethousanddollars,hereissix.
Shylock:WhatjudgementshallIdread(担心),Iwouldnotwantsixthousand,Iwouldhavemybond.
Duke:Howshallyouhopeformercy?
Shylock:whatjudgementshallIdread,doingnowrong?Iansweryou:thepoundofflesh,whichIdemandofhim,isalreadybought,thisismine.AndIwillhaveit.Ifyoudenyme,fie(呸)uponyourlaw!(你们的法律见鬼去吧！)Istandforjudgement:answer,shallIhaveit?
Duke:IjustreceivedaletterfromBellario,alearneddoctor.
Bassanio:(toShylock)Whydoesyouwhet(磨快)thekniefsoearnestly?
Shylock:Tocutthefleshfromthatbankruptthere.
Duke:ThisletterfromBellariodoescommandayoungandlearneddoctortoourcourt.Whereishe.
Portia:Juststandsnearhere.
Duke:Withallmyheart,welcome.Doyouunderstandthetwoviewpointinthecourt?
Portia:OfcourseIknow.Whichisthemerchanthere,andwhichtheJew?
Duke:Antonioandoldshylock,bothstandforth.
Portia:IsyournameShylock?
Shylock:Shylockismyname.
Portia:Thecaseisstrange,butaccordingtotheVenetianlaw,cannotlimityouasyoudoproceed.(pointtoAntonio)Youstandwithinhisdanger,doyounot?(你的生死掌握在他的手里，是不是？)
Antonio:Ay,sohesays.
Portia:Doyouconfessthebond?
Antonio:Ido.
Portia:ThenmusttheJewbemerciful(仁慈)
Shylock:WhymustIbemerciful?Tellmethereason.
Portia:Thequalityofmercylikesgentlerainfromheaven,andmercywasdoubleblessing,weallpreyformercy.
Shylock:Mydeedsaredesidedbymyhead!Iaskthelaw,thepenaltyandforfeitofmycontract.
Portia:Ishenotabletopaythemoney.
Bassanio:Yes,hereIwanttopayitforhiminthecourt,twicethesum,ifthatnotenough,Iwanttopayittentimes.ThethingsIpaycanbemyhands,myhead,myheart.Ifthiswillnotenough,Iwouldthoughtyouwerebadenough.AndIaskyoucorrectoncethelaw,todoagreatright,doalittlewrong,andcontrolthiscrueldevilofhiswill.
Portia:Itmustnotbe;therisnopowerinVenicecanalteralawestablished.
Shylock:Awiseyoungjudge,howIdohonouryou.
Portia:Iprayyou,letmekookuponthebond.
Shylock:Herethis,mostreverend(尊敬的)doctor,hereitis.
Portia:Shylock,there’sthrice(三倍的)themoneyofferedyou.
Shylock:Anoath(誓言)，anoath,Ihaveanoathinheaven.ShallIlayperjury(伪证)uponmysoul,No,notforVenice(整个威尼斯给我都不行).
Portia:Why,thisbondisforfeit(照约处罚)，Jewmaycutoffapoundoffleshnearestthemerchant’sheart.Bemerciful,takethricethemoney,bid(吩咐)metearbond.
Shylock:Whenitispaidaccordingtothebond.Itdoesappearyouareaworthlyjudge.Youknowthelaw,yourexposition(说明)hasbeenmostsound,Ichargeyoubythelaw,youareawell-deservingpillar.ThereisnopowerinthetongueofmanIstayhereommybond.(谁也不能用他的口舌改变我的决心，我现在等着执行).
Antonio:MostheartlyIdobeseech(恳求)thecourttogivethejudgement.
Portia:Youmustprepareyourbosomfortheknife.
Shylock:Oh,noblejudge!Oh,excellentyoungman!
Portia:thereforelaybareyourbosom.Aretherbalanceheretoweightheflesh.
Shylock:Ihavethemready.(takeoutaknife)
Portia:Askasurgeontocome,Shylock,onyourcharge(费用归你),tostophiswounds,otherwisehewillbleedtodeath.
Shylock:Isitsonominatedinthebond?Icann’tfindit,itisn’tinthebond.
Portia:You,merchant,haveyouanythingtosay?
Antonio:Butlittle,Iamwellperpared,givemeyourhand,Bassanio,Goodbyeforever.Commendmetoyourhonourablewife,tellhertheprocessofAntonio’send;sayhowIlovedyou,speakmefairindeath(从容就义);hewon’tregretithepaysyoudebt.FortheJewdocutbutdeepenough,I’llpayitpresentlywithallmyheart.
Bassanio:Antonio,Iammarriedtoalifewhichisasdeartomeaslifeitself;butyourlifeisthemostimportantthanallofthis.Iwouldloseall,sacrificethemall.Heretothisdevil,todelieveyou.(我愿意丧失一切，把它们献给这恶魔做牺牲，来救出你的生命).
Portia:Youwifewouldgiveyoulittlethanksforthat.Ifshewerehere.
Shylock:thesebethechristianhusbands.Ihaveadaughter,wouldanysonofburglerhadbeenherhusbandratherthanachristian!
Portia;Apoundofthatsamemerchant’sfleshisyours:thecourtawardsit,andlawdoesgiveit.
Shylock:mostrightfuljudge!
Portia:youmustcutthisfleshfromhisbreast.Thelawallowsit,andtheawardsit.
Shylock:mostlearnedjudge!Asentence!Come,prepare!
Portia:Waitamoment,there;ssomethingelse.Thisbondincludenojot(少量)ofblood;thewordsexpresslyareapoundofflesh.But,inthecutting,ifyoudoesshedonedropofchristian’sblood,yourlandsandgoodsconfiscate(充公)bytheVenicelaw.
Bassanio:Oh,learnedjudge!Listen,Jew,alearnedjudge.
Shylock:Isthatthelaw?
Portia:Youwillseetheact(你自己可以去看看明白).Forasyouurgestjustice,beassuredyoushallhavejustice(既然你要求公道，我就给你公道)，morethanyoudesired.
Shylock:Itakethisoffer,thenpaythebondthrice.Andletthechristiango.
Bassanio:Hereisthemoney.
Portia:Soft(别忙),TheJewshallhavealljustice;soft!Nohaste.Heshallhavenothingbutthepenalty.
Bassanio:Oh,Jew!Anuprightjudge,alearnedjudge!
Portia:Thereforeprepareyoutocutofftheflesh,neitherblood,norcutlessnormore,butjustapoundofflesh;ifyoucutmoreorlessthanajustpound,ifthescaledoturn,youdieandallthegoodsareconfiscate.
Bassanio:Now,Ihaveyouonthehip(你可掉我手里)，
Partia:whydoestheJewpause?Taketheforfeiture.
Shylock:Givememyprincipal(本金)，andletmego.
Bassanio:Ihaveitreadyforyou;hereitis.
Portia:Hehasrefuseditintheopencourt.Heshallhavemerelyjusticeandhisbond.
Shylock:ShallInothavebarelymyprincipal?
Portia:Youwouldhavenothingbuttheforfeiture,exceptcuttingapoundoffleshatthedanger.Jew.
Shylock:Thenthedevilgivehimgoodofit!I’llstaynolongerquestion(让魔鬼保佑他去享用吧！我不打这场官司了).
Portia:Jew,thelawhaveanotherrelationtoyou.Toseekthelifeofanycitizenbydirectorindirectattempts,halfofhispropertybelongstothecitizen,theotherhalftothestate.Thedangerformelybymerehearsed(你已经遭逢我刚才所说起的危险了).Downthereforeandbegmerceoftheduke.
Duke:Youwillseethedifferenceofourspirts,Ipardonyouthelifebeforeyouaskit.Forhalfthewealth,itisAntonio;theotherhalftothestate.
Portia:Ay,forthestate,notfortheAntonio.
Shylock:No,takemylifeandall;pardonnotthat.Youtakemyhousewhenyoudotaketheprop(支柱)thatdoessustainmyhouse;youtakemylifewhenyoudotakethemeans(养家活命的根本)wherebyIlive.
Portia:Whatmercycanyougivehim,Antonio?Aropeforkillorelse?
Antonio:IwillhappyifLordquitthisfineforonehalf.TheotherhalfIwillgivetheloverofhisdaughter.
Portia:Areyoucontended,Jew?Whatdoyousay.
Shylock:Iamcontent,thankyouverymuch.
求英语搞笑话剧剧本。(6人,带翻译更高。)
六人的英语搞笑话剧：《荆珂刺秦王》
旁白（Aside）/介绍（Introduction）：
Longagotherewasacrazycountry,inthiscrazycountrythereweresomecrazypeople,tryingtoshowthecrazyhistorybycrazyways.
MrJingkewasthemostfamousswordsmanandwassenttokillkingofQing,“Yingzheng”.Butfinallyhefailed.Doyouwanttoknowwhathappenedatthattime?
很久以前有一个疯狂的国家，在这个疯狂的国家里有一些疯狂的人，试图用疯狂的方式展示疯狂的历史。荆轲先生是最有名的剑客，他被派去杀清王“嬴政”。但最后他失败了。你想知道当时发生了什么吗？
ActionI（第一幕）
太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror,mirror,tellme,whoisthemostprettymanintheworld?（镜子，镜子，告诉我，谁是世界上最漂亮的男人）
（画外音：It'syou,PrinceDan!太子丹高兴状）Thankyoumirror!（面对观众）
I'mPrinceDan,themagicmirrorsaidIamthemostattractivemanintheworld.
ButYingZhengisajealousguy,Ifeelhewillkillmeifmirrortoldhimthetruth.SowhatcanIdo?Whereismyminister?
（我是丹王子，魔镜说我是世界上最有魅力的男人。但是嬴政是个嫉妒心很强的人，我觉得如果镜子告诉他真相，他会杀了我的。那我该怎么办？我的部长在哪里？）
阿三（毕恭毕敬）:Honey,Iamcoming.（殿下，我来了）
太子丹：I'vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme:"mymostbeautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smartanddearestPrinceDan."
（我一再告诉你，你应该叫我：“我最美丽、最优雅、最英俊、最迷人、最可爱、最聪明、最亲爱的丹王子。）
阿三：Sure,honey!Ihaveagoodidea.WecanfindaherotokillYingZheng.（作杀状）
（好的，殿下。我有一个好主意。我们可以找一个人去杀了嬴政）
太子：Ohyeah.Whatisthemostexpensivecommodityinthiscentury?Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）Goodidea!Butwhoistherightcandidate?
阿三：AfterscreeningIhavetwopromisingpersonsonhand.OneisMissLiMoChou,theotherisMrJinKe.TomorrowtheywillPKfortheNO1killeroftheworld.
（经过筛选，我手头上有两个有前途的人。一个是李莫愁小姐，另一个是荆轲先生。明天他们将为世界头号杀手PK。）
太子：Well,showmethewinnerassoonaspossible,OK?
（好吧，尽快给我看看赢家，好吗？）
阿三：Yes.（好的。）
ActionII（第二幕）
（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）
荆轲：AreyouLimochou?（你是李莫愁？）
李莫愁：Yes.（是的。）
荆轲：OK.I'mJingke,youknow,IwillletyouknowIamthekingofthekillers'world.
（好啊。我是荆轲，你知道，我会让你知道我是杀手世界之王。）
李莫愁：Areyouchallengingme?（你在挑战我吗？）
荆轲：Offcourse!（耸耸肩表示同意）
李莫愁：Comeon!
音乐起，两人冲上前来，“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。”
李莫愁倒地，荆轲大笑。
李莫愁痛苦状：Whathappened?Whyaren'tyouhurt?
（发生了什么？为什么你不会受伤？）
荆轲:Wedon'tneedanyreasontowinaperson.Don'twe?Dowe?（赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么，需要么?）
李莫愁：Mommaalwayssaid:"Lifeislikeaboxofchocolates,Mochou.Youneverknowwhatyou'regonnaget."Igotit,Mommaisright.
（妈妈总是说：“人生就像一盒巧克力，莫愁。你永远不知道你会得到什么。“我知道了，妈妈是对的。）
荆轲再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：Howareyou?
荆柯：Fine,thankyou,andyou?
太子丹：OhmyGod!Couldyougivemeaninnovativeanswerto“Howareyou？”
荆柯：Sure!
太子丹：Howareyou?
荆柯：Fine,thankyou,andyourwife?
太子丹晕倒
荆柯：Hey,man,I’mkidding!
太子丹：Oh,I’mkiddingtoo!（毕恭毕敬）MayIhaveyournamecard,please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着：Tobeornottobe,that'saquestion.
（生存还是毁灭，这是个问题。）
阿三：Hero,weneedyourhelp.（好汉，我们需要你的帮助。）
荆柯：Iambusynow!（我忙着呢！）
太子丹：Youcangetalotofmoney.（你可以得到很多钱。）
荆柯：Iamverybusynow!（我现在非常的忙。）
阿三：IC,ID,IQcard?
荆柯：Iamveryverybusynow!（我真的真的非常忙。）
阿三（手指上场的美女,激动状）:Look!Sheisthemostbeautifulgirlintheworld.IfyousayO.K.,sheisyours.（你看，那是世界上最美丽的女子，如果你答应了，她就是你的了。）
荆柯（流口水）：Ihavetosaysheisaverysexyandbeautifulgirl,butTCMismyonlylove!
（我不得不说她是个性感又美丽的女人，但TCM才是我唯一的爱人。）
阿三：What?What'stheTCM?
荆柯;Hey,guy!Youlooksosmartbutwhyyoudidn'tknowTCM?Anyofthemcangiveyoutheanswer.（小子，看你挺聪明却不知道TCM。让我来告诉你吧。）
阿三：Excuseme?What’stheTCM?
观众甲：TCM-TraditionalChineseMM.
太子丹：Imustshowyouthetrumpcard.Ladiesandgentlemen,thisisLiptonSlimmingtea.ItisabrandnewproductofUnileverChina.
（我必须给你看王牌。女士们先生们，这是利普顿减肥茶。是联合利华中国的一个全新产品。）
荆柯（激动）：Slimmingtea!Ihavedreamedofitforthousandsoftimes.MywifealwaysthreatenstoleavemeifIcouldn'treducemyweight.
（减肥茶！我已经梦想了几千次了。我妻子总是威胁说如果我不能减肥就离开我。）
阿三：Youwant?Speakupifyouwant!Whydoyoukeepsilent?Whyareyoulookingatme?Althoughyoureyesarefullofsincerity,I'mveryglad,youstillhavetospeakup.Takeit!Doyoureallylike?Really?
（你想要什么？如果你愿意，就大声说！你为什么保持沉默？你为什么看着我？虽然你的眼睛充满了诚意，但我很高兴，你还是得大声说。拿着它！你真的喜欢吗？真的？）
荆柯(诚恳状)JusttellmewhatshouldIdo?Iwilldoanythingforyou.
（告诉我该怎么办？我愿意为你做任何事。）
太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）：Yeah!
全剧终
拍英语话剧的注意事项
1、首先，组员要熟悉理解剧本，能够充分理解剧本的内容，然后进行表情和细节性的标注，这样会有助于现场的拍摄，同样进行一幕一幕的划分，这样不会使组员太过紧张忘词。
2、其次就是准备道具，一定要全，老师会很在意我们在细节方面的用心程度，倘若我们精心地准备了道具的话，会给老师留下一个不错的印象，很容易得高分。
3、然后就是角色的分配，一定要合理，要根据人们在现实生活中的性格进行分配，这样有助于增加话剧的真实性，从而更生动，同时也要考虑到不同组员的英语水，要考虑周全。
4、然后最最最重要的便是背台词，一定要理解，切记，当我们感觉一句话念不通的时候，可以用简单句进行改写，便于背诵也便于理解，不一定一字不差的照着剧本背，这样也违背了我们学英语的初衷。
5、然后便是拍摄，注意的是情感的投入尤其是表情，还有就是拍摄的角度一定要合理，符合当时情景。进行一幕一幕地拍摄，中途有适当的休息。然后就是尽量多个角度进行切镜头，这样效果会好很多。
6、然后就是后期制作，这一点尤为重要，主要分为四部分，一、片头和片尾的制作，二、视频的剪辑，三、片头和片尾音乐的挑选，四、字幕的制作。