小学生经典英语笑话短文
笑话可以在说笑中蕴含着人们对于美好生活的期盼和诉求。折射出社会生活中的方方面面。我精心收集了，供大家欣赏学习!
：上帝在看着
Thestudentswerelinedupinthecafeteriaforlunch.Attheheadofthetablewasalargepileofapples.Thenunmadeanote,andpostedontheappletray:"TakeonlyONE.Godiswatching."
学生们在食堂排队吃午餐。在桌子的一头有一大堆苹果，修女写了一张纸条，贴在苹果托盘上:“只能拿一个。上帝在看着你。”
Movingfurtheralongthelunchline,attheotherendofthetablewasalargepileofchocolatechipcookies.Achildhadwrittenanote,"Takeallyouwant.Godiswatchingtheapples."
顺着午餐队伍往前走，在桌子的另一端有一大堆巧克力饼干。一个孩子写了一张纸条，“想要多少拿多少，上帝正看着苹果呢。”
：能让我们老师回去吗?
Whilevisitingacountryschool,thechairmanoftheBoardOfEducationbecameprovokedatthenoisetheunrulystudentsweremakinginthenextroom.Angrily,heopenedthedoorandgrabbedoneofthetallerboyswhoseemedtobedoingmostofthetalking.Hedraggedtheboytothenextroomandstoodhiminthecorner.
在访问一听乡村学校时，教育委员会主席因为隔壁房间里不守规矩的学生们发出的噪音而愤怒不已。他气愤地推开门，一把抓住一个身材较高的男生，他似乎说话最多。他拖着男生到另一个房间，并礼他他站在墙角。
Afewminuteslater,a***allboystuckhisheadintheroomandpleaded,"Please,sir,maywehaveourteacherback?"
几分钟后，一个小男孩探进头来，恳求道:“求求您，先生，能让我们的老师回去吗?”
：你知道我是谁吗?
ItwasthefinalexaminationforaBiologycourseatauniversity.Itwasdesignedtoweedoutsomestudents.Theexaminationwastwohourslong.Aftertheexambookletswereprovided,theprofessortoldtheclassthatanyexambookletthatwasnotonhisdeskinexactlytwohourswouldnotbeacceptedandthestudentwouldfail.
这是一所大学的生物课期末考试。考试旨在淘汰部分学生。考试时间为两小时。分发试题册后，教授对学生们说，两小时结束后任何没交的试题册他都不再接收，没交的学生一律不及格。考试开始后半小时，个学生匆匆跑了进来，向教授要试题册。
Halfofanhourintotheexam,astudentcamerushinginandaskedtheprofessorforanexambooklet.
“你没有时间答完试题的，”教授一边把试题册递给学生，一边讽刺地说。
"You'renotgoingtohavetimetofinishthis,"theprofessorstatedsarcasticallyashehandedthestudentabooklet.
“不，我有，”学生回答。然后他坐下来开始答题两小时后，教授要求交卷，学生们把试卷整理好，交了卷，只有那名迟到的学生还继续写着。一小时后，学生走到教授跟前，教授正坐在桌旁准备下一节课。学生试图把试卷放在桌上的一堆试题册上。
"Yes,Iwill,"repliedthestudent.Hethentookaseatandbeganwriting.Aftertwohours,theprofessorcalledfortheexams,andthestudentsfiledupandhandedthemin.Allexceptthelatestudent,whocontinuedwriting.Anhourlater,thestudentcameuptotheprofessorwhowassittingathisdeskpreparingforhisnextclass.Heattemptedtoputhisexamonthestackofexambookletsalreadythere
“我不会接收的。太晚了。”
"I'mnotgoingtoacceptthat.It'slate."
学生看上去将信将疑，有些生气。
Thestudentlookedincredulousandangry.
“你知道我是谁吗?”
"DoyouknowwhoIam?"
“不，说实话，我不知道，”教授回答说，言语中带着嘲讽的语气。
"No,asamatteroffact,Idon't,"repliedtheprofessorwithanairofsarca***inhisvoice.
“你知道我是谁吗?”学生又问，声音更响亮了。
"DoyouknowwhoIam?"thestudentaskedagaininaloudervoice.
“不知道，我也不在乎”教授回答，面露优越的神色。
"No,andIdon'tcare."repliedtheprofessorwithanairofsuperiority.
“那就好，”学生说著快速地拿起一叠试卷，把他的塞到中间，然后走出了教室。
"Good,"repliedthestudent,whoquicklyliftedthestackofpletedexams,stuffedhisinthemiddle,andwalkedoutoftheroom.
小学生英语笑话故事(三篇)
小学生英语笑话故事篇一
Mr.Johnsonhadneverbeenupinanaerophanebeforeandhehadreadalotaboutairaccidents,soonedaywhenafriendofferedtotakehimforarideinhisownsmallphane,Mr.Johnsonwasveryworriedaboutaccepting.Finally,however,hisfriendpersuadedhimthatitwasverysafe,andMr.Johnsonboardedtheplane.Hisfriendstartedtheengineandbegantotaxiontotherunwayoftheairport.Mr.Johnsonhadheardthatthemostdangerouspartofaflightwerethetake-offandthelanding,sohewasextremelyfrightenedandclosedhiseyes.
Afteraminuteortwoheopenedthemagain,lookedoutofthewindowoftheplane,andsaidtohisfriend,"Lookatthosepeopledownthere.Theylookassmallasants,dontthey?"
"Thoseareants,"answeredhisfriend."Werestillontheground."
第一次坐飞机
约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机,他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以,有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时,约翰逊先生非常担心,不敢接受。不过,由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的,约翰逊先生终于被说服了,登上了飞机。
他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落,所以他吓得紧闭双眼。
过了一两分钟,他睁开双眼朝窗外望去,接着对朋友说道：“看下面那些人,他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小,是不是?”
“那些就是蚂蚁,”他的朋友答道,“我们还在地面上。”
小学生英语笑话故事篇二
ItwastheChristmasseasonandthejudgewasinamerrymoodasheaskedtheprisoner,“Whatisyouroffense?”圣诞佳节到来，法官心情愉悦地问犯人：“你做了什么坏事啊？”
“IdidmyChristmasshoppingearlythisyear,”criedtheprisoner.
“我今年圣诞节购物早了些”犯人回答。
“There'snothingwrongwiththat,”saidtheJudge.Howearlywereyoudoingthisshopping?”
“这么做没错啊，”法官说：“到底多早之前啊？“
“Beforethestoreopened,”answeredtheprisoner.
“商店开门之前“犯人答道。
小学生英语笑话故事篇三
AchildonChristmastimeaskedforsomepaperandcrayonsinordertodrawacrib.Eventuallytheartisticmasterpiecewasdisplayedforparentalapproval.Themanager,theshepherds,JesusandHolyFamilyworedulyadmired。"Butwhat'sthatinthecorner?"askedMother。
"Oh,that'stheirtelly,"repliedthetot。
耶稣的电视机
圣诞节时孩子要了纸和蜡笔，想画一张耶稣诞生像。最后这件艺术品被陈列出来供父母鉴赏。
他们对耶稣诞生后睡的马槽，牧羊人，耶稣及其家庭都逐一表示赞赏。
“可是那个角落里是什么?”妈妈问。
“噢，那是他们的电视机，”孩子回答说。
小学生英语笑话故事【三篇】
【篇1】
It'ssunnydayinspring.MissCatisfishing.Suddenlythefishingrodmoves."Great!Oh,it'ssoheavy!"MissCatsayshappily.
Thefishispluckedoutoftheriver."Oh,abigfish!Howbigthefishis!"Shecheers.Butsheputsthefishintotheriverandgoesonfishing.
AtthetimeMr.Horsegoesbyandseesit."Whatdoyousetitfree?"Heasks."Becausemypotistoosmall.Ican'tcookit,"MissCatsays.
这是春天里一个阳光明媚的日子，猫小姐在河边钓鱼。突然鱼竿动了动。“太棒了！哇，好重啊！”猫小姐高兴地喊着。
鱼被拉出来了。“啊！一条大鱼！这条大鱼可真大呀！”她欢呼道。但是她却把鱼放回河里，又继续钓鱼。
这时候马先生路过，看见这一切，就问她：“为什么你把鱼放了？”“因为我的锅太小。我没办法烧这么大的鱼。”猫小姐回答说。
【篇2】
Threehandsomemaledogsarewalkingdownthestreetwhentheyseeabeautiful,enticing,femalepoodle.Thethreemaledogsfallalloverthemselvesinanefforttobetheonetoreachherfirst,butenduparrivinginfrontofheratthesametime.Themalesarespeechlessbeforeherbeauty,slobberingonthemselvesandhopingforjustaglancefromherinreturn.
Awareofhercharmsandherobviouseffectonthethreesuitors,shedecidestobekindandtellsthem"Thefirstonewhocanusethewords"liver"and"cheese"togetherinanimaginative,intelligentsentencecangooutwithme."
Thesturdy,muscularblackLabspeaksupquicklyandsays"Iloveliverandcheese."
"Oh,howchildish,"saidthePoodle."Thatshowsnoimaginationorintelligencewhatsoever."
Sheturnedtothetall,shinyGoldenRetrieverandsaid,"Howwellcanyoudo?""Ummmm...IHATEliverandcheese,"blurtstheGoldenRetriever.
"My,my,"saidthePoodle."Iguessit'shopeless.That'sjustasdumbastheLab'ssentence."
Shethenturnstothelastofthethreedogsandsays,"Howaboutyou,littleguy?"
Thelastofthethree,tinyinstaturebutbiginfameandfinesse,istheTacoBellchihuahua.Hegivesherasmile,aslywink,turnstotheGoldenRetrieverandtheLabandsays...
【篇3】
AguyisdrivingaroundthebackwoodsofTennesseeandheseesasigninfrontofabrokendownshanty-stylehouse:"TalkingDogForSale."
Heringsthebellandtheownerappearsandtellshimthedogisinthebackyard.TheguygoesintothebackyardandseesanicelookingLabradorretrieversittingthere."Youtalk?"heasks."
Yep,"theLabreplies.
Aftertheguyrecoversfromtheshockofhearingadogtalk,hesays"So,what'syourstory?"TheLablooksupandsays,"Well,IdiscoveredthatIcouldtalkwhenIwasprettyyoung.Iwantedtohelpthegovernment,soItoldtheCIA.Innotimeatalltheyhadmejettingfromcountrytocountry,sittinginroomswithspiesandworldleaders;becausenoonefiguredadogwouldbeeaves-dropping.Iwasoneoftheirmostvaluablespiesforeightyearsrunning."
"Butthejettingaroundreallytiredmeout,andIknewIwasn'tgettinganyyoungersoIdecidedtosettledown.Isignedupforajobattheairporttodosomeundercoversecurity,wanderingnearsuspiciouscharactersandlisteningin.Iuncoveredsomeincredibledealingsandwasawardedabatchofmedals.Igotmarried,hadamessofpuppies,andnowI'mjustretired."
Theguyisamazed.Hegoesbackinandaskstheownerwhathewantsforthedog."Tendollars,"theguysays"Tendollars?Thisdogisamazing!Whyonearthareyousellinghimsocheap?"
"Becausehe'saliar.Heneverdidanyofthatstuff."