急求搞笑的英语话剧剧本
荆珂刺秦王搞笑英语话剧剧本
旁白(Aside)/介绍（Introduction）：Longagotherewasacrazycountry,inthiscrazycountrythereweresomecrazypeople,tryingtoshowthecrazyhistorybycrazyways.MrJingkewasthemostfamousswordsmanandwassenttokillkingofQing,“Yingzheng”.Butfinallyhefailed.Doyouwanttoknowwhathappenedatthattime?Okay,nextshowwilltellyouthetruth.
ActionI
太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror,mirror,tellme,whoisthemostprettymanintheworld?(画外音：It’syou,PrinceDan!太子丹高兴状)Thankumirror!（面对观众）I’mPrinceDan,themagicmirrorsaidIamthemostattractivemanintheworld.ButYingZhengisajealousguy,Ifeelhewillkillmeifmirrortoldhimthetruth.Iamsoscared.SowhatcanIdo?(向幕里大叫)Whereismyminister?
阿三(毕恭毕敬):Honey,Iamcoming.
太子丹：I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smartanddearestPrinceDan”!
阿三：Sure,honey!Ihaveagoodidea.WecanfindaherotokillYingZheng~~~（作杀状）
太子：Ohyeah~~~.Whatisthemostexpensivecommodityinthiscentury?Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）Goodidea!Butwhoistherightcandidate?
阿三：AfterscreeningIhavetwopromisingpersonsonhand.OneisMissLiMoChou,theotherisMrJinKe.TomorrowtheywillPKfortheNO1killeroftheworld.
太子：Well,showmethewinnerassoonaspossible,OK?
阿三：Yes.
ActionII
（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）
荆轲
AreyouLimochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荆轲
OK.I’mJingke,youknow,IwillletyouknowIamthekingofthekillers’world.
李莫愁
Areyouchallengingme?
荆轲
Offcourse!耸耸肩表示同意
李莫愁
Comeon!
音乐起
两人冲上前来
“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”
李莫愁倒地
荆轲大笑
李莫愁痛苦状：Whathappened?Whyaren’tyouhurt?
荆轲:Wedon'tneedanyreasontowinaperson.Don'twe?Dowe?（赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）
李莫愁：Mommaalwayssaid:"Lifeislikeaboxofchocolates,Mochou.Youneverknowwhatyou'regonnaget."Igotit,Mommaisright.
荆轲再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：Howareyou?
荆柯：Fine,thankyou,andyou?
太子丹：OhmyGod!Couldyougivemeaninnovativeanswerto“Howareyou”?
荆柯：Sure!
太子丹：Howareyou?
荆柯：Fine,thankyou,andyourwife?
太子丹晕倒
荆柯：Hey,man,I’mkidding!
太子丹：Oh,I’mkiddingtoo!（毕恭毕敬）MayIhaveyournamecard,please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：
Tobeornottobe,that'saquestion.
阿三：Hero，weneedyourhelp.
荆柯：Iambusynow!
太子丹：Youcangetalotofmoney.
荆柯：Iamverybusynow!
阿三：IC,ID,IQcard?
荆柯：Iamveryverybusynow!
阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状):Look!Sheisthemostbeautifulgirlintheworld.IfyousayO.K.,sheisyours.
荆柯（流口水）：Ihavetosaysheisaverysexyandbeautifulgirl,butTCMismyonlylove!
阿三：What?What’stheTCM?
荆柯;Hey,guy!Youlooksosmartbutwhyyoudidn’tknowTCM?Anyofthemcangiveyoutheanswer.
阿三：Excuseme?What’stheTCM?
观众甲：TCM-TraditionalChineseMM.
太子丹：Imustshowyouthetrumpcard.Ladiesandgentlemen,thisisLiptonSlimmingtea.ItisabrandnewproductofUnileverChina.
荆柯（激动）：Slimmingtea!Ihavedreamedofitforthousandsoftimes.MywifealwaysthreatenstoleavemeifIcouldn’treducemyweight.
阿三：Youwant?Speakupifyouwant!Whydoyoukeepsilent?Whyareyoulookingatme?Althoughyoureyesarefullofsincerity,I’mveryglad,youstillhavetospeakup.Takeit!Doyoureallylike?Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……
（《Nomatter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）
荆柯(诚恳状)JusttellmewhatshouldIdo?Iwilldoanythingforyou.
太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!
ActionШ
（《大话西游》主题曲响起）
荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.
阿三：Hero,wehavealreadyreachedYishuiRiver.
荆珂：Juststophere,please.Farewell,myfriends
太子丹：Iwillmissyou,baby.
（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）
荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling,Iloveyou.
妻子：Iloveyou!Youmeanmoretomethananythinginthiswholeworld!（《肖申克的救赎》）
荆珂(流泪)：Iloveyoumore.Inspiteofyouandmeandthewholesillyworldgoingtopiecesaroundus,Iloveyou.(哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)
妻子：Well.Beaman,justdoit!Iwillberightherewaitingforyou.
荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!Youmustdomethishonor...promisemeyouwillsurvive...thatyouwillnevergiveup...nomatterwhathappens...nomatterhowhopeless...promisemenow,andneverletgoofthatpromise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.
妻子:"Ipromise."
荆轲:"Neverletgo.“
妻子:"Ipromise.Iwillneverletgo,Jack.I'llneverletgo."
（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）
妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，
荆珂上船，渐渐远去
妻子：It’sagooddaytodie.Nevercomeback.Never……Never……
妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)：Thankyouverymuch.AssoonasIgetthelifeassurance$1000,000,Iwilltransferhalfofit,$500,000toyouraccount.
阿三：Okayokay!
旁白：ThenJingkewassenttoQinandfinallykilledbyYingzheng.
想要更多百度消息说
有哪些英语话剧搞笑剧本,适合八个人出演的
英语小品剧本--孙悟空vs猪八戒
AnEnglishplay----PigGuyhasbeendefeatedbyMonkeyKing
悟空：师傅,是不是太累了?休息一下再走吧.
Master,areyoutired?Let’shavearest.
唐僧：没关系,前面不远就有人家了,到了那里再休息吧.
Iamfine.Let’shavearestlater.Look!Thereisahouseoverthere.
悟空仔细地搀扶唐僧继续行走,同时另一边老头、老妈、小媳妇出场.
小媳妇（做哭状）：爹、妈,我……
Daddy,mommy,I,I…
老头：女儿,快走吧,不然那猪精来了,就走不了了.
Honey,hurryup.Thespiritiscomingsoon.
小媳妇走几步又回头跑回老妈的怀里,抱头痛哭.老头在一边叹息,擦泪.
唐僧、悟空走到他们面前.
悟空：师傅,到了.
Master,hereweare.
唐僧（走到老头面前行礼,悟空看见了正在哭的母女俩,觉得奇怪,上下打量）：老施主,我是从
东土大唐前往西天取经的和尚,想借贵地休息一晚,不知方便否?
Excuseme,sir.Iamthemonkfromtheeast.Canwestayoverheretonight?
老头（做哽咽状）：哦,是东土大唐来的高僧啊,可以可以.（别过脸去继续哭泣）
Oh,youarethemonkfromtheeast.Sure.Sure,comein,please……
唐僧正在奇怪,老妈闻声抬起头,仔细打量唐僧,突然扑到唐僧面前.
老妈：高僧啊,你可要救救我的女儿,救救我们一家啊.
Master,pleasesavemydaughter,savemyfamily…
唐僧：老施主休要伤心,有什么事慢慢说.
Don’tbesad,madam.Takeiteasy.Whathappened?
老头：高僧有所不知,我们这里有一只猪精,今天要来跟我女儿成亲,大家都斗不过它,现在正
准备把女儿送出去逃避
Master,thereisaspirithere.Hewantstomarrymydaughter,tonight.Weareall
afraidofhim.
唐僧：施主莫怕,我这徒弟本领高强,也许他能帮上你们.
Calmdown,sir.Myapprenticehasgreatcapability.Maybe,hecanhelpyou.
老头：唉,高僧啊,以前也来过自称本领高强的师傅,结果都被这猪精打跑了.今天你们就躲着
别出来了吧.
Alas!,master,therehavebeenmanypeoplewhoboasttobeverycapable.Butevery
time,theyweredefeatedbythespirit.You’dbetterkeepawaytonight.
悟空：噢,有这么厉害的妖怪?我倒要会他一会.待会你们只管躲起来,外面发生什么事,都不
用管.
What?Isthespiritreallysostrong?I’dliketoseehowgreatheis.Allofyou
juststayinside.Don’tcomeoutnomatterwhathappens.
这时起了风声（音乐）,老头一家吓得站起来混身发抖.小媳妇吓得直往老妈怀里钻.悟空镇定
地举手示意,让师傅及老头一家人躲到房间里面去.自己也手搭凉篷看了看,便不慌不忙地也躲
在了门后,露出一段红袖子.
猪八戒大笑着耀武扬威地走上场来,嘴里大喊：小娘子,我来了.
Darling,hereIam.
站在台上停一下,见没有动静,觉得奇怪,往房屋里看去,见露出一段红袖子,高兴地一拍手掌.
八戒：小娘子还害羞呢,不敢出来见老猪吗?来,来,来,我们就要是夫妻了,还害什么羞呀!.
Darling,don’tbesoshy!Pleasecometome.Comeon,wewillbeacouple.
猪八戒跑上去轻轻拉住红袖子,把小娘子拖了出来,小娘子作出害羞的样子,有时又做出猴子的
模样.
八戒：小娘子,不用怕,我虽然长得丑,但本领高强,一定会让你过上好日子的.
Darling,don’tbeafraid.AlthoughIamugly,Iamsopowerful.IamsurethatI
canmakeyouhappy.
小娘子笑着点头,抓耳挠腮.
八戒：小娘子,你高兴的时候干嘛要像猴子一样?
Darling,whydoyoulooklikeamonkey?
小娘子：我一高兴就觉得痒,所以就抓一抓.
WhenIamhappy,Ialwaystickle.
八戒：高兴就好,高兴就好.我们快入洞房吧.
Fine,let’sgotothebedroom.
八戒拉住小娘子就往房子里面钻.小娘子作出动脑筋的样子,又把八戒拉回来.
八戒：哇,小娘子,你好大的力气啊,干嘛把我拉出来啊?
Darling.Whyareyousopowerful?
小娘子：夫君,你这模样进去会吓着我的父母的,还是去你家里吧.
Honey,yourappearancewillfrightenmyparents.We’dbettergotoyourhome.
八戒：去我家?那太好了,我们这就走吧.
Gotomyhouse?OK.that’sagreatidea.Let’sgo.
两人走了几步,小女子做出腿疼摔了一下的样子,八戒忙扶起她,作出痛惜的样子.
小女子：我一个弱女子,哪里能走这么远?夫君背我吧.
Icannotwalkanyfurther.Canyoucarrymeonyourback?
八戒：背你?好,好,好.谁让你是我的媳妇呢?
Carryyouonmyback?Allright.Youremywifeafterall.Comeon.
八戒把小女子背上：娘子,我们这就出发了.
Darling,Letsgo.
小女子（在八戒头上一点）：走吧,呆子.
Okay.Let’sgo.
音乐响起(直到八戒摔倒).八戒在台上走一圈,做出越走越慢,越走越累的样子.小女子在他背
上抓耳挠腮,非常高兴.
八戒：小娘子,你怎么这么重啊?
Darling,whyareyousoheavy?
小女子：不是我重,只怕是你不想背我吧?
Doyouthinkso?Dontyouwanttocarryme?)
八戒：不,不,不,我背,我背.
Yes,Ido.Ido.
继续艰难地走.小女子得意地在背上笑.八戒体力不支,一跤摔倒,小女子倒地之后,
灵活地越上台上的假山,先做出猴子笑看八戒的样子,再做出摔疼了的样子在那里呻吟.
八戒听到女子的呻吟,忙东张西望找小媳妇.
八戒：娘子,摔着了没有?娘子,摔着了没有?娘子,你摔到哪去了?怎么看不见你了?
Darling,areyouOK?Darling,whereareyou?WhycantIseeyou?
小女子（偷偷地笑,再装作痛苦的样子）：夫君,我在这里呢.
Honey,Iamhere.
八戒：哇,娘子,你怎么摔到高的地方去了?
Darling.Whydidyougoupthere?
小女子：还不是你这呆子害的.
Thatsyourfault.
八戒：对不起,娘子.对不起,娘子.
Sorry,darling.I’mverysorry.
小女子：看你这么辛苦,我也摔疼了,那就休息休息吧.
Youlooksotired,andIfeelsore.Let’shavearest.
八戒：太好了.我们就休息一下吧!
Havearest?That’sagoodidea.Let’shavearest.
八戒听了高兴地坐在下面休息,小女子仔细地打量他.
小女子（撒娇地）：夫君,你是哪里的神仙,我都还不知道,怎么能嫁给你呢?你可要告诉我.
Honey,howcanImarryyou?Idon’tevenknowwhereyoucomefrom.Youmusttellme
thetruthfirst.
八戒：唉,别提了,想当年我本是天上的天篷元帅,上天入地,八面威风.只因冒犯了嫦娥,
被玉帝贬下凡尘,错投了猪胎,长成这般模样.
Alas!Don’tmentionit.IwasTianpengmarshal,Icouldflybetweenheavenandthe
world.OnlybecauseImadeabigmistake,IwaspunishedbyYudi.SoIbecameapig.
That’swhyIamsougly.
小女子：亏你长得这么丑,还敢出来见人.
Youlooktoouglytomeetpeople.
八戒：本来我也不想出来,只是南海观音点化我,叫我在这里等候前往西天的取经人.等了这么久,
也不见,便出来逛逛,能碰到娘子你,是我一生的造化,还管它什么西天取经呢?（八戒高兴地过
去想拉小女子的手）
Ididn’twanttocomehere.NanhaiGuanyinaskedmetowaitforTangseng.Ivebeen
waitingforalongtime,butnobodyhascome.It’sluckytomeetyouhere.
小女子（把手甩开）：你说自己是天上的神仙,怎么连我都背不动,真让人难以相信.
Yousaidthatyouwereanimmortalintheheaven.Whycan’tyoucarryme?It’s
impossible!
八戒：我真的是天上的神仙,你干嘛不信呢你.
Iamreallytheimmortal.Whydon’tyoubelieveme?
小女子：那你拿出点本事来瞧瞧.
Showmesomegongfuthen.
八戒：好,让我露两手来给你看看.
OK,letmeshowyoumygongfu.
从石头后拿出钉钯,舞了起来.小女子暗暗点头.当八戒的钉色舞到小女子面前时,被小女子一把
抓住,往石山后面一拖,八戒被拖了过去.
八戒：娘子,你怎么这么大的力气?
Darling.Whyareyousostrong?
小女子：有本事你把我拖出去呀.
Pullmeoutifyoucan.
八戒做出用力拖的样子,没有发现拖出来的却是悟空.悟空一松手,八戒摔倒在地.
八戒：娘子,你怎么这么狠心把我摔倒了?不要开玩笑了.
Howcouldyouletmefalldown?Don’tkidanylonger.
悟空大笑：呆子,看看我是谁!
YouSilly!Lookatme.WhoamI?
八戒一看,吓得跳起来：齐天大圣,我的妈呀.
Mygod!YouareMahatma!
八戒转身想跑,被悟空拦住,两人打了起来,八戒不是对手,被悟空压住,不能动弹.
悟空：呆子,你可还敢在这里害人不成?
Yousilly!Dareyouharmothersanymore?
八戒：不敢了,不敢了.
No,Idarenot!
悟空：你可还敢在这里娶媳妇?
Dareyouwiveyet?
八戒：不敢了.大圣爷爷饶我.
No,no.Pleaseforgiveme,Mahatma.
悟空：量你也不敢.
Ibetyoudarenot.
悟空放开,八戒转身想跑,被悟空一把抓住耳朵,疼得直叫.
悟空：呆子,想往哪里去?
Yousilly,whereareyougoing?
八戒：我已答应你,不再闹事了,干嘛还不放我走?
Illnevermaketroubleanymore.Whydontyouletmego?
悟空：呆子,我带你去见取经人.
Yousilly,Imtakingyoutomeetthesutra-seeker.
八戒：什么?取经人来了?
What?HasTangsengcome?
悟空：走吧.
Yes.Letsgo!
两人在台上走半圈,来到房前.
悟空：师傅,出来吧,这妖怪已经被我降服了.
Master,pleasecomeout!Thespirithasbeendefeated!
唐僧等人走了出来,老头一家还有些战战兢兢.
悟空：呆子,还不跪下,见过师傅.
Yousilly,kneeldowntomeetyourmaster.
八戒忙对着唐僧下跪,口喊师傅.唐僧非常吃惊.
Master,nicetomeetyouhere.
唐僧：徒儿,这是怎么回事?
Myprentice,whatsup?
悟空：师傅,这是观世音菩萨特意让他在此等候陪您上西天取经的.
Master,hewillaccompanyyoutothewestatGuanyinsbehest.
唐僧：哦,多谢观世音菩萨,既然这样我就收你为徒,赐你法名为
八戒.
Isee!ThankGuanyin!Sincethen,Iwilltakeyouasmyprentice
andnameyouBajie.
八戒：谢谢师傅（站了起来）.
Thankyou,mymaster!
老头：恭喜高僧又收神徒.
Congratulations!
唐僧：徒儿们,我们上路吧.（八戒还依依不舍地看着小女子）
Letsgoahead,myprentices.
悟空：八戒,还看什么呢?走了.
Bajie,thereisnothingtoattachto.Letsgo!
八戒恋恋不舍地走到前面带路.
搞笑英语话剧剧本
我们班刚演过，获得了系里一等奖(孔雀东南飞英语搞笑剧本)虽然人物多了一个，可以有群众演员嘛
焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)
刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)
焦母johnny’smother(jmforshort)
刘母lunch’smother(lmforshort)
太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)
强盗burglars(abandc)
prologue序幕
(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)
j:everybodysaysthati’mhenpecked,butinfact,i’mastrongtiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeiswusong.
译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。
(指着上台处的门大声道)i’mnotafraidofyou!
译：我才不怕你呢！
(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then,i’mafraidofwhom!mywifelunchiisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.sheisbraverthanme,smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.allthisidonotcare.ionlywantshetobetenderthanme.butsheisnot!havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
译：谁怕谁啊！在邻里中，我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些，但是她却不懂温柔！有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊！
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)
mygod!whocanhelpme?(下)
译：我的天！谁来救救我啊？
act1第一幕
(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)
jm(拄拐棍上):ican!
(对门内)lunch!lunch!whereareyou?
l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’mhere!what’sup，mum?
jm:ihavetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmotherinlaw”.
l:ok.mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?
jm:sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
l:but……
jm:neverinterruptme!
l:neverinterruptme!sinceimarriedyourson,thatterriblejohnny,ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
jm:butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)goandaskyourson.i’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)
act2
(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)
l:mum,i’mback!
lm:youareback?why?whathappened?
l:iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.
lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see!ihavealreadytoldyou!whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterriblejohnny,itoldyouthatheisuglytupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
tome.lookatyourself……
l:but,mum……
lm:neverinterruptme!
l:mum,i’mnotinterruptingyou.ijustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightok?and
i’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
lm(大喜):nicegirl!justnow,imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.hesaid:“ifyourdaughter
haven’tbeenmarried,ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”nowyouarefreeagain,i’llgo
andtellhim.(下)
l(惊愕):what?themayor’sson?themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)whatasillythingihavedone!(下)
act3
(j睡眼惺忪上)
j(边走边道):lunch!lunch!wherearemysocks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)heretheyare!(闻一下)er!howsmelly!theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)lunchhasgone!ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’msohungry!butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)thisiswhatlunchalwayswears!imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!now
shehasgone.ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.
jm(上):where’smybreakfast?where’slunch?hasn’tshegotupyet?
j:mum,can’tyouremember?lunchhasgone!
jm(沉吟片刻):well,totellyouthetruthjohnny,asonwithoutawifeissuseless.lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
j(立正敬礼):yesmadam!
act4
(j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
a:heyyou!stopandlistentous!
theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
b:andiplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
c:ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了a的脚)
ab&c:giveusallyourmoney!
j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):is1maoenough?
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
a:whatbadluck!thisguyisbroken!
b:ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenotthingtoeattonight!
c:iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarrymissliulanzhinextmonth.wecangoand
robthewedding!
a&b:goodidea!
j(惊讶):what?what?lunchisgoingtogetmarried?it’simpossible!
ab&c:why?aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
j:butlunchismywife!wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)i’vegotanidea!youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?i’llgo
withyou.youtakethemoneyanditakethebride.
b:haveyougotanyexperience?
j:no.buti’vegotthis!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)
act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(j和三强盗跃至台中)
abc&j:heyyou!stopandlistentous!
a:theroadisbuiltbyme!
b:andiplantedonetree.
c:ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
j:giveusallyourmoney!
(l听到j的声音，掀起了盖头)
l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)
(ms大怒，挥拳向j打来．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l晕倒)
j(火冒三丈):howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向ms冲去）
(j与ms混战，jm上，以拐杖击晕ms)
(j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
j(扶起l，关切地问):honey,howareyou?
l(哭状):ihurtalot!
j:don’tcrybaby.i’llgoandfetchthemedicine.(下)
l(起身去追):waitforme!(跑下)