六一国际儿童节笑话英文
一天小和尚问老和尚：“师傅，为什么歌里在唱，女人是老虎，女人很凶吗？”
老和尚说道：“当然了。”
一次小和尚下山，两天没回来，第三天才回来。老和尚着急地问他：“这两天你去那里了？”
小和尚说，这两天我和老虎在一起。
老和尚说问，那老虎有没有伤你。
小和
尚天真地说：“没有，那老虎不但不凶，而且还很温柔呢？”
女人”趣谈WhointheHellUnderstandsWomen?
黑格尔所过：“永恒的女性指引我们前进”，可亚里士多德又说：“对待女人需要鞭子”。那么女人对于这个世界究竟是怎样一个角色，这也许永远也无定论。但是，下面这些关于女性的妙语，也不见得是一家之言、无稽之谈。
*Thenicewomenareugly.(好女人不漂亮)
*Thebeautifulwomenarenotnice.(漂亮女人不好)
*Thebeautifulandnicewomenarestupidingeneral.(又漂亮又好的女人一般都很愚蠢)
*Thebeautiful,niceandcleverwomenaremarried.(又漂亮又好又不愚蠢的女人都结婚了)
*Thewomenwhoarenotsobeautifulbutarenicewomenareborninpoverty.
(不是很漂亮但是很好的女人却出身贫寒)
*Thewomenwhoarenotsobeautifulbutarenicewomenborninnoblethinkweareonlyaftertheirlordiness.(不是很漂亮但是很好又出身高贵的女人会认为我们看上的是她们的权势)
*Thebeautifulwomenwithoutlordlinessareafterourlordliness.(而没有权势但是很漂亮的女人看上的是我们的权势)
*Thecleverwomen,whoarenotsoniceandsomewhatbeautifuldon'tthinkwearecleverenough.(不是很好但是很漂亮又很聪明的女人却嫌我们不够聪明)
*Thewomenwhothinkweareclever,thatarenice,somewhatcleverandhavelordlinesshavealotofpursuers.(又好又聪明又出身高贵又觉得我们聪明的女人都有很多追求者)
*Thewomenwhoaresomewhatbeautiful,somewhatniceandhavesomelordlinessandthankGodarecleverandalwaysmaintainmanycandidates
(又好又漂亮又出身高贵而且又聪明的女人总是脚踏几条船)
*Thewomenwhonevermakethefirstmove,automaticallyloseinterestonuswhenwetaketheinitiative.(那些从不主动的女人一旦我们采取主动就对我们失去兴趣)
*NOW，WHOINTHEHELLUNDERSTANDSWOMEN?(现在，到底有谁了解女人这东西？)
〃IfIsoldmyhouseandmycar，hadabiggaragesaleandgaveallmymoneytothepoor，wouldIgetintoheaven？〃IaskedthechildreninmySundayschoolclass.
〃No！〃thechildrenallanswered.
〃IfIcleanedthechurcheveryday，mowedtheyard，andkepteverythingneatandtidy，wouldIgetintoheaven？〃
Again，theanswerwas，〃No！〃
〃Well，〃Icontinued，〃thenhowcanIgetintoheaven？〃
Afive-year-oldboyshoutedout，〃Yougottabedead！〃
“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖，并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗？”我问主日学校(教堂在周日开设的儿童宗教班级)的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能！”
“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗？”
回答还是：“不能！”“好吧，”我继续问，“那我要怎样才能升天堂呢？”
一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行！”
1：某次英文考试有两道题目：
1）我穿上外套，却发现第一个扣子掉了。
2）他听见电话铃响，就过去接了电话。
正确答案应为：
1）Iputonmycoatandfounditsfirstbuttonwasgone.
2）Assoonasheheardthephoneringing,hewenttopickitup.
但是某生的答案是：
1）Shit!
2）Hello?
2：老师在黑板上写了一句：Timeismoney.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”
小明上英文课时跟老师说：MayIgotothetoilet?
老师说：Goahead.
小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：MayIgotothetoilet?
老师说：Goahead.
小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!
3：某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：Iamhongtaoliu，外宾曰：我他妈还是方片七呢！
江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道：“MissJiang,youareverybeautiful.“翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文：
“Where?Where?
外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底：“Everywhere,everywhere.“翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。
翻译赶紧翻成英文：“Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee.“
4：话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「IAM后羿！」
B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「IAM丘比特！」
轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」
5：一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感，于是对着男友说：“SAY‘ILOVEYOU!!’SAYIT!SAYIT!SAYIT!”男的答道：“IT!”
6：一位在美的留学生，想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张，看到地上标线是向左转。他不放心的问道:turnleft？监考官回答:right.于是他立刻向右转……
7：某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：Iamsorry.
老外应道：Iamsorrytoo.
某人听后又道：Iamsorrythree.
老外不解，问：Whatareyousorryfor?
某人无奈，道：Iamsorryfive.
8：某男，亦粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是：Sex，该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Onceaweek”。
签证官观后暴笑，曰：“Thisitemshouldbefilledinwithmaleorfemale.”
该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female”，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’titbemale?”男急释曰：“Iamanormalman,soIhavesexwithfemale.
9：上初一的时候，英语老师让我们读课文，恰好是一段对话，于是叫了一男一女两个同学来读。
男：Whattimeisitnow?
女：It’snine.
男：Let’sgotobed.
女：Wegotobedatnine.
全班绝倒。
10：一次为一个初中小孩搞家教，在其英语课本上发现如下恐怖字眼：爸死（bus）爷死(yes)哥死（girls）妹死（Mis）……死光（school）
THEASSANDTHEGRASSHOPPER
AnAsshavingheardsomeGrasshopperschirping,washighlyenchanted;and,desiringtopossessthesamecharmsofmelody,demandedwhatsortoffoodtheylivedon,togivethemsuchbeautiful***s.Theyreplied,"Thedew."TheAssresolvedthathewouldonlyliveupondew,andinashorttimediedofhunger.
驴和蚱蜢
一只驴听到几只蚱蜢在叫，便觉得很有趣；于是也想得到同样有趣的音调，便问蚱蜢吃什么东西过活，以致于能有这样优美的声音。蚱蜢说：“露水。”驴子听了，从此以后也单吃露水过活，不久便饿死了。
Therewasameetingwithalargenumberofpeople.Atfirstthespeakerwasveryinteresting,butastimewenton,hebecameveryboring.Finallywhenhewasthrough,therewasonlyonemansittinginthelargeroom.
Thespeakerwalkeduptothemanandsaid,"Thankyouforhearingmeoutwhenalltheotherslefttheroom."
"Oh!Don'tmentionit!"repliedtheman,"IcannotleavebecauseIamthenextspeaker."
关于六一英语对话有哪些
1、Todayisthechildren'sday.Itisaholidayforallchildren,andisalsothefirst"61"children'sdaysinceIbecameaprimaryschoolstudent.
今天是六一儿童节，是所有小朋友们的节日，也是我成为小学生以后的第一个“六一”儿童节。
2、Ispentthishappyfestivalwithmyteachersandclassmates.Theteacherspeciallypreparedavarietyofactivitiesforus,includingstickingnose,bowling,fishingforthemooninthewater,blastingballoonsandsoon.
我和老师同学们一起度过这个开心快乐的节日，老师特意为我们准备了丰富多彩的活动，有贴鼻子，保龄球，水中捞月，爆破气球等。
3、Timeflieslikeashuttle.Onceayeartheflightoftimechildren'sDayiscoming.
光阴似箭，日月如梭，一年一度的六一儿童节踏着轻轻的脚步再次来临。
4、Duetotheone-dayholidayonJune1,ourschoolarrangedagardentouronTuesday.Therearemanyinterestinggames,suchastabletennis,checkers,waterbottleandsoon!
由于六一放假一天，所以星期二的时候我们学校安排了游园活动，有很多有趣的游戏，比如：投乒乓球、夹跳棋、抢水瓶等很多游戏！
5、Thisyear'sJune1children'sDayisreallyhappy!IwishitwasJune1everyday!
今年的六一儿童节过得真开心！真希望天天是六一啊！
儿童节主持词 英语的
Female:Inthisfun,beautifulday,man:Leadersatalllevels,allsectorsofthecommunitywithcareandhopethattogetherwithus.Female:youngpioneerstoyouoursincerethanksandmyhighestsalute!shout:Thankyou,Grandfather,grandmother,uncle,aunt.Man:IwishGrandfather,grandmother,uncle,auntingoodhealthandgoodluck!shout:IwishGrandfather,Grandmother,......
To......61Childrenwillhostapoetrywordhost:Female:DistinguishedLeaders,man:Grandfather,woman:Grandmother,man:uncle,female:aunt,with:teachers,students:Howareyou!Female:**June'spleasantweather,flowersinfullbloom.Man:The**inJune,thegrasslongflyOrioles,vitality.Female:accompaniedbythefragrantflower,thebestholidaygarb,male:"61",whichbelongtoourholiday,alsocametotheU.S.side.
InAprilinBeijing,brightspring,atime,byasuddenoverthedisease,whichis"atypical."Pointofviewofthebusystreetofbusythepastgone,themallalsohasbecomedeserted,andthepedestrianstreetcomeandgone,whitemaskscoveringtheirfaces.
Thus,thechildrenallovertheworldhaveaprimaryoftheirown......Renqing"61"seriesofactivitiesworddarlingstudents!Female:DarlingoftheYoungPioneersare!All:goodholidayeveryone!Man:DistinguishedLeaders,LadiesandGentlemen.Female:darlinguncle,auntare.Man:Welcomeyoutocome.All:Welcometoyoutogetherwithusthroughthiswonderfulholiday!
TheauspicesofChildren61words:Leaders,teachers,classmatesDearGentlemen:Goodeveningeveryone!Iamdelightedtojointhecelebrationof"61"ChildrenoftheEnglishparty.Letmehereatschooltomiddleschoolonbehalfoftheyoungpioneerstoexpressholidaygreetingstothehardtocultivatethegrowthofourteacherstoexpressmysincereappreciation!
Man:Wehavelistenedtothefirstbellwillringforthe21stcentury,female:Wehavetoembracethenewmillennium,thefirstrayofdawn;Man:Today,whentheredsunappearonthehorizon,thefemale:Wehaveveryexcitedtowelcome......shoppingmalls"61,"addedthemessagestore'sholidaygift,sweetcakes,beautifulclothing.Magiccouldnothavechangedsomanytricks.Bookstores,children'sbookssuchasmanystars,isopenfreetothecinema......"61"messagesectionwhiteanglebeloved,perhapswehavenevermet,butyourtenacityandfightingtheepidemicdidnotfigureappearedseveraltimesatmeeyes,movingyourimagehasbeenengravedinmymind.
Sincetodaywearegoingtosingsweetsongsoftheprimarytext,happyandjoy,withmusic......inspecialschoolstocelebrate"61"sectionofhisspeech,theleadershipofDistinguishedguestsFriends,teachers,studentsDarling:U.S.well!Todayis"61"InternationalChildren'sDay.55yearsago,Women'sInternationalDemocraticFederationfortheprotectionofchildrenallovertheworldthepowerofsurvival,healthauthorityandthepowerofeducation,inNovember1949heldinMoscow,theGeneralAssemblydecidedonJune1eachyearfortheInternationalChildren'sDay.December23,1949,theChinesegovernmentalsoprovidesfortheJune1Children.
TotakepartintheeveningfromourbordercityofPingxiangShisummerschoolstudentsandteacherstoextendawarmwelcomeandextendfestivegreetings,andthroughyoutothesummerschoolteachersandrockmyclassmatesChildrenDay......61DearMrteachers,studentsDarlingHelloeveryone:FirstofallIwouldliketoletmeonbehalfofthepartybranchschools,schooladministrationstudentswishahappyholiday!See,thestudentsareverypleasedtoday.Look,allstudentsputonaholidayofcostumes,cheekagainstthebackgroundoftheredscarfevenmoreunderthecheeks,andeventheeyes,moutharehungthebroadsmilesontheirfaces.