英语笑话故事大全 英语的笑话故事大全

很短的英语笑话小故事

民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。本文是很短的英语笑话小故事，希望对大家有帮助!

很短的英语笑话小故事：SchoolPlay

Afatherpicksuphissonafterschoolandaskshimhowhisdayhasbeen.

"Greatdad,todaytheygivememypartattheschoolplay",saystheboy.

"Really?andwhatdoyouplay?"asksthefather.

"Iplayamanwhohasbeenmarriedfortwentyyears".

"That'sniceson",saysthefather,"youdoagoodworkandonedaythe'llgiveyouaspeakingrole".

很短的英语笑话小故事：The5yr.Old.

Anoldcountrydoctorwentwayouttotheboondockstodeliverababy.Itwassofaroutthattherewasnoelectricity.Whenthedoctorarrived,noonewashomeexceptforthelaboringmotherandher5yearoldchild.

Thedoctorinstructedthechildtoholdalanternhighsohecouldseewhilehehelpedthewomandeliverthebaby.Thechilddidso,themotherpushed,andafteralittlewhile,thedoctorliftedthenewbornbabybythefeetandspankedhimonthebottomtogethimtotakehisfirstbreath.

"Hithimagain,"thechildsaid."Heshouldn'thavecrawledupthereinthefirstplace!!"

很短的英语笑话小故事：Obsessions

Apsychiatristwasconductingagrouptherapysessionwithfouryoung

mothersandtheirsmallchildren...

"Youallhaveobsessions,"heobserved.

Tothefirstmother,Mary,hesaid,"Youareobsessedwitheating.

You'veevennamedyourdaughterCandy."

HeturnedtothesecondMom,Ann:"Yourobsessioniswithmoney.

Again,itmanifestsitselfinyourchild'sname,Penny."

HeturnstothethirdMom,Joyce:"Yourobsessionisalcohol.

Thistoomanifestsitselfinyourchild'sname,Brandy."

Atthispoint,thefourthmother,Kathy,getsup,takesherlittleboy

bythehandandwhispers."Comeon,Dick,we'releaving."

很短的英语笑话小故事：Chickens

ItwaslittleMichael'sfirstvisittothecountry,andfeedingthechickensfascinatedhim.

Earlyonemorning,Michaelcaughthisfirstglimpseofapeacockstruttingaroundintheyard.Rushingindoorsexcitedly,Michaellookedforhisgrandmother.

"Oh,Granny,"heexclaimed,"oneofthechickensisinbloom!"

很短的英语笑话小故事：BalconyReport

BillandMarladecidedthattheonlywaytopulloffaSundayafternoonquickiewiththeir10-year-oldsonintheapartmentwastosendhimoutonthebalconyandorderhimtoreportonalltheneighborhoodactivities.

Theboybeganhiscommentaryashisparentsputtheirplanintooperation."There'sacarbeingtowedfromtheparkinglot,"hesaid."Anambulancejustdroveby."Afewmomentspassed.

"LooksliketheAnderson'shavecompany,"hecalledout."Matt`sridinganewbikeandtheCoopersarehavingsex."

Momanddadshotupinbed."Howdoyouknowthat?"thestartledfatherasked.

"Theirkidisstandingoutonthebalconytoo,"hissonreplied.

关于英语笑话的小故事

英语笑话是口头或者书面的幽默语言，它可以使人轻松愉悦，忘记忧愁困扰。本文是关于英语笑话的小故事，希望对大家有帮助!

关于英语笑话的小故事：agreatman

Teacher:WouldShakespearebeagreatmanifhewerestillalivetoday?

Student:Ofcourse.Hemustbeagreatman,forsofarnobodyhaslivedtoover400years.

一名伟人

老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗?

学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。

关于英语笑话的小故事：Theteacher

Teacher:Herearetwobirds,oneisaswallow,theotheris

sparrow.Nowwhocantelluswhichiswhich?

Student:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanswer.

Teacher:Pleasetellus.

Student:Theswallowisbesidethesparrowandthesparrowis

besidetheswallow.

老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

关于英语笑话的小故事：TheDoctorKnowsBetter

Amanwashitbyacabinthestreet.Hewasbroughttothehospital.Hiswifewhowasstandingupbyhisbed,saidtothedoctor:"Ithinkthatheisveryill.""Iamafraidthatheisdead."saidthedoctor,

Hearingthis,themanmovedhisheadandsaid:"I'mnotdead.I'mstillalive.""Bequiet,"saidthewife."thedoctorknowsbetterthanyou!"

医生懂得多

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

关于英语笑话的小故事：StupidQuestion

Danwasthedoormanofaclubinabigcity.Everyday,thousandsofpeoplepassedhisdoor,andalotofthemstoppedandaskedhim,"What'sthetime,please?"

Afterafewmonths,Dansaidtohimself,"I'mnotgoingtoanswerallthosestupidpeopleanymore.I'mgoingtobuyabigclockandputituponthewallhere."Thenhedidso.

“Nowpeoplearen'tgoingtostopandaskmethetime,"hethoughthappily.

Butafterthat,alotofpeoplestopped,lookedattheclockandthenaskedDan,"Isthatclockright?”愚蠢的问题

丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。每天都有数千人经过他的门口，而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点?”

几个月后，丹想:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了，我要去买一只大钟，把它挂在这儿的墙上。”于是他买了一只钟，把它挂在了墙上。

“现在人们总不会再停下来问我时间了。”他高兴地想。

可是打那以后，每天仍有许多人停下来，看看钟，然后问丹:“这钟准吗?”

关于英语笑话的小故事：HeWon

Tommy:Howisyourlittlebrother,Johnny?Johnny:Heisillinbed.Hehurthimself.

Tommy:That'stoobad.Howdidthathappen?

Johnny:Weplayedwhocouldleanfurthestoutofthewindow,andhewon.

他赢了

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿?

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

英语小笑话,越短越好,带翻译

1、Goldfish金鱼

Stan:Iwon92goldfish.

Fred:Whereareyougoingtokeepthem?

Stan:Inthebathroom。

Fred:Butwhatwillyoudowhenyouwanttotakeabath?

Stan:Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!

斯丹：我赢了92条金鱼。

弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？

斯丹：浴室。

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？

斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！

2、TheRevenge欺骗的代价

OldFarmerJohnsonwasdying.Thefamilywasstandingaroundhisbed.Withalowvoicehesaidtohiswife:"WhenI'mdeadIwantyoutomarryfarmerJones."Wife:"No,Ican'tmarryanyoneafteryou."Johnson:"ButIwantyouto."Wife:"Butwhy?"Johnson:"Jonesoncecheatedmeinahorsedeal!"

老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。”妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。”约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。”妻子：“为什么？”约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”

3、IthinkthatI'machicken我想我是一只鸡

Psychiatrist:What'syourproblem?

Patient:IthinkI'machicken.

Psychiatrist:Howlonghasthisbeengoingon?

Patient:EversinceIwasanegg!

精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？

病人：我认为我是一只鸡。

精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？

病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。

4、HowdoIgetthegumout我怎么把口香糖取出来

Distributingchewinggumtothepassengers,thestewardessexplaineditwastokeeptheirearsfrompopping.Whentheplanelanded,oneofthepassengersrusheduptoherandsaid,"I'mmeetingmywiferightaway.HowdoIgetthegumoutfrommyears?"

当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”

5、WhereAmI我在哪儿

AnEnglishmanlosthiswaywhilehewasdrivinginthecountryside.Hesawafarmerworkinginthefieldnearby,sohewentnearerinhiscarandaskedthefarmer,"Excuseme,canyoutellmewhereIam?""Yes,"thefarmerlookedathimstrangelyandsaid,"youareinyourcar,sir."

一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？”“可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”

6、Chiefisatthewedding长官在婚礼上

Apolicestoppedamotoristwhowasspeedingonthestreet.

"Butofficer,"themansaid,"Icanexplain."

"Justbequiet,"snappedtheofficer."I'mgoingtoputyouinjailuntilthechiefgetsback."

"But,officer,I…."

"Isaidtokeepquiet!Youaregoingtojail!"

Afewhourslater,theofficerlookedinonhisprisonerandsaid,"Youareluckybecausethechiefisathisdaughter'swedding.He'llbeinagoodmoodwhenhegetsback."

"Areyousure?"answeredthemaninthecell."I'mthegroom."

大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道，“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我，，，”。“我说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。”“你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。

7、WhoIstheLaziest谁最懒

Father:Well,Tom,Iaskedtoyourteachertoday,andnowIwanttoaskyouaquestion.Whoisthelaziestpersoninyourclass?

Tom:Idon'tknow,father.

Father:Oh,yes,youdo!Think!Whenotherboysandgirlsaredoingandwriting,whositsintheclassandonlywatcheshowotherpeoplework?

Tom:Ourteacher,father.

父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。

8、TwoBirds两只鸟

Teacher:Herearetwobirds,oneisaswallow,theotherissparrow.Nowwhocantelluswhichiswhich?

Student:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanswer.

Teacher:Pleasetellus.

Student:Theswallowisbesidethesparrowandthesparrowisbesidetheswallow.

老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。