七下英语小故事幽默加翻译
MakingHisMark“刻舟求剑”AmanfromthestateofChuwastakingaboatacrossariverwhenhedroppedhisswordintothewatercarelessly.Immediatelyhemadeamarkonthesideoftheboatwherethesworddropped,hopingtofinditlater.Whentheboatstoppedmoving,hewentintothewatertosearchforhisswordattheplacewherehehadmarkedtheboat.Asweknow,theboathadmovedbuttheswordhadnot.Isn’tthisaveryfoolishwaytolookforasword?楚国有个人坐船渡江时，他不小心把自己的一把宝剑掉落江中。他马上掏出一把小刀，在宝剑落水的船舷上刻上一个记号。船靠岸后，那楚人立即从船上刻记号的地方跳下水去捞取掉落的宝剑。他怎么找得到宝剑呢？船继续行驶，而宝剑却不会再移动。像他这样去找剑，真是太愚蠢可笑了。ToPulluptheSeedlingstoHelpThemGrow“拔苗助长”Onceuponatime,therewasanoldfarmerwhoplantedaplotofrice.Afterheplantedtheseedlings,everydayhewenttothefieldtowatchtheseedlingsgrow.Hesawtheyoungshootsbreakthroughthesoilandgrowtallereachday,butstill,hethoughttheyweregrowingtooslowly.Eventuallyhegotimpatientwiththeyoungplantsandsuddenlyhehituponanideathatonebyone,hepulleduptheyoungplantsbyhalfaninch.Thenextearlymorning,theyoungmancouldn’twaittocheckhis“achievement”,buthewasheart-brokentoseeallthepulled-upyoungplantsdying.从前，有个农夫，种了稻苗（seedlings）后，便希望能早早收成。每天他到稻田时，都发觉那些稻苗长得非常慢。他等得很不耐烦。想了又想，他终于想到一个“最佳方法”，他将稻苗全都拔高了几分。第二天，一早起身，他迫不及待地去稻田看他的“成果”。哪知，却看到所有的稻苗都枯萎了。PluggingOne’sEarsWhileStealingaBell“掩耳盗铃”Onceuponatime,therewasamanwhowantedtostealhisneighbor’sdoorbell.However,heknewclearlythatthebellwouldringandcatchtheotherpeople’sattentionaslongashetouchedthebell.Sohethoughthardandsuddenlyhitonaclever“idea”.Hepluggedhisearswithsomething,thinkingthateverythingwouldgowellwhenhestolethebell.Unfortunatelytohisdisappointment,thebellstillrangloudlyandhewascaughtonthespotasathief.从前，有一个人想偷邻居门上的铃，但是他知道一碰到铃，铃就会响起来，被人发现。他想啊想，终于他想出一个“妙极”，他把自己的耳朵用东西塞起来，就听不见***了。但是当他去偷铃时，***仍旧响起来，他被别人当场抓住TheFoxandtheCrow“狐狸和乌鸦”Onedayacrowstoodonabranchnearhisnestandfeltveryhappywiththemeatinhismouth.Atthattime,afoxsawthecrowwiththemeat,soheswallowedandeagerlythoughtofaplantogetthemeat.However,whateverthefoxsaidtothecrow,thecrowjustkeptsilent.Untilthefoxthoughthighlyofthecrow’sbeautifulvoice,thecrowfeltflatteredandopenedhismouthtosing.Assoonasthemeatfelldowntotheground,thefoxtookthemeatandwentintohishole.有一天,一只乌鸦站在窝旁的树枝上嘴里叼着一片肉，心里非常高兴。这时候，一只狐狸看见了乌鸦，馋得直流口水，非常想得到那片肉。但是，无论狐狸说什么，乌鸦就是不理睬狐狸。最后，狐狸赞美乌鸦的嗓音最优美，并要求乌鸦唱几句让他欣赏欣赏。乌鸦听了狐狸赞美的话，得意极了，就唱起歌来。没想到，肉一掉下来，狐狸就叼起肉，钻回了洞DrawaSnakeandAddFeettoIt“画蛇添足”Longlongago,severalpeoplehadajarofwineamongthemandallofthemwantedtodrinkitbyhimself.Sotheysetarulethateveryonewoulddrawasnakeonthegroundandthemanwhofinishedfirstwouldhavethewine.Onemanfinishedhissnakeverysoonandhewasabouttodrinkthewinewhenhesawtheotherswerestillbusydrawing,sohedecidedtodrawthefeettothesnake.However,beforehecouldfinishthefeet,anothermanfinishedandgrabbedthejarfromhim,saying,"Whohaseverseenasnakewithfeet?”Thestoryof"DrawasnakeandaddfeettoIt.”tellsusgoingtoofarisasbadasnotgoingfarenough.古时几个人分一壶酒。他们都想独自喝完那壶酒，所以就定了一个规矩：每人在地上画一条蛇，谁画得最快，这壶酒就归谁。有一个人很快就把蛇画好了。他正打算喝这壶酒时，看见别人都还在忙着画，就决定给蛇再画上几只脚。结果，他的蛇脚还没加完，另一个人已经把蛇画好了。那人一下把酒壶夺了过去，说：“有谁见过长脚的蛇？”。这个故事告诉我们这样的道理：做得过分和做得不够都是不对的
初一英语幽默故事50字
LetmetakeitdownAnelephantsaidtoamouse,"nodoubtthatyouarethe***allestzndmostuselessthingthatIhaveeverseen.""Pless,sayitagain.Letmetakeitdown."themousesaid."IwilltellafleawhatIknow."为我所用一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。Anoldsoldieroftentoldhisgardenabouthispastwarexploits."OnceImetwithadozenenemysol-diersandtookthemprisonerssinglehand-ed.""Itwashalfadozenenemysoldierswhenyoutoldmethestorylastyear.Butwhyhaveyouaddedsomanymorethistime?""Yousillylad.Youwereyoungerlastyear,andIwasafraidtofrightenyou."Whilewisitingthecemetery,asorrowfulcouplenoticedaheadstone,whichread,"hereliesalawyerandahonestnan"."lookatthat",thewomansaid,"money'ssotightthey'reputtingthenoinagrave."LawyerJokes:Amanvisitingagraveyardsawatombstonethatread,"HereliesJohnKelly,alawyerandanhonestman.""Howaboutthat!"heexclaimed."They'vegotthreepeopleburiedinonegrave."__________________________________ThesearefromabookcalledDisorderintheCourt,andarethingspeopleactuallysaidincourt,wordforword,takendownandnowpublishedbycourtreporters-whohadthetormentofstayingcalmwhiletheseexchangeswereactuallytakingplace.__________________________________Q:Whatisyourdateofbirth?A:July15th.Q:Whatyear?A:Everyyear.Q:Howoldisyourson,theonelivingwithyou?A:Thirty-eightorthirty-five,Ican'trememberwhich.Q:Howlonghashelivedwithyou?A:Forty-fiveyears._________________________________Q:Whatwasthefirstthingyourhu***andsaidtoyouwhenhewokeupthatmorning?A:Hesaid,"WhereamI,Cathy?"Q:Andwhydidthatupsetyou?A:MynameisSusan._________________________________Q:Howwasyourfirstmarriageterminated?A:Bydeath.__________________________________Q:IsyourappearanceherethismorningpursuanttoadepositionnoticewhichIsenttoyourattorney?A:No,thisishowIdresswhenIgotowork.__________________________________Q:Doctor,beforeyouperformedtheautopsy,didyoucheckforapulse?A:No.Q:Didyoucheckforbloodpressure?A:No.Q:Didyoucheckforbreathing?A:No.Q:So,thenitispossiblethatthepatientwasalivewhenyoubegantheautopsy?A:No.Q:Howcanyoubesosure,Doctor?A:Becausehisbrainwassittingonmydeskinajar.Q:Butcouldthepatienthavestillbeenalive,nevertheless?A:Yes,itispossiblethathecouldhavebeenaliveandpracticinglaw.A:Nicetomeetyou.B:Nicetomeetyou,too.C:Nicetomeetyou,three.AnArtistAnartistaskedthegalleryowneriftherehadbeenanyinterestinhispaintingsondisplayatthattime."Ihavegoodnewsandbadnews,"theownerreplied."Thegoodnewsisthatagentlemanenquiredaboutyourworkandwonderedifitwouldappreciateinvalueafteryourdeath.WhenItoldhimitwould,heboughtall15ofyourpaintings.""That'swonderful,"theartistexclaimed."What'sthebadnews?"Anoldsoldieroftentoldhisgardenabouthispastwarexploits."OnceImetwithadozenenemysol-diersandtookthemprisonerssinglehand-ed.""Itwashalfadozenenemysoldierswhenyoutoldmethestorylastyear.Butwhyhaveyouaddedsomanymorethistime?""Yousillylad.Youwereyoungerlastyear,andIwasafraidtofrightenyouBUYINGAHATAladywenttoahatshoptobuyahat.Asshewasveryfussy,ittookheralongtimetopickonone.Alreadyattheendofhispatiencethesale***anwasafraidthatshemightchangehermindagainsohetriedtoflatterher:"Anexcellentchoice,madam.Youlookatleasttenyearsyoungerwiththishaton!"Tohisdi***ay,theladytookoffherhatatonceandsaid:"Idon'twantahatthatmakesmelooktenyearsolderassoonasItakeitoff.Showmesomemorehats!"I'MNOTHAVINGITALLCUTOFF.Milessometimewenttothebarber'sduringworkinghourstohavehishaircut.Butthiswasagainsttheofficerules:clerkshadtohavetheirhaircutintheirowntime.WhileMileswasatthebarber'soneday,themanageroftheofficecameinbychancetohavehisownhaircutandsatjustbesidehim."Hello,Miles,"themanagersaid."Iseethatyouarehavingyourhaircutinofficetime.""Yes,sir,Iam,"admittedMilescalmly."Yousee,sir,itgrowsinofficetime.""Notallofit,"saidthemanageratonce."Someofitgrowsinyourowntime.""Yes,sir,that'squitetrue."AnsweredMilespolitely,"butI'mnothavingitallcutoff."ButtheteachercriedThesix-year-oldJohnwasterriblyspoiled.Hisfatherknewit,buthisgrandmadotedonhim.Hehardlyleftherside.Andwhenhewantedanything,heeithercriedorthrewatempertantrum.Thencamehisfirstdayofschool,hisfirstdayawayfromhisgrandmother'slovingarms.Whenhecamehomefromschoolhisgrandmamethimatthedoor."Wasschoolallright?"sheasked,"Didyougetalongallright?didyoucry?""Cry?"Johnasked."No,Ididn'tcry,buttheteacherdid!"ThedifferencebeeenmenandwomenJockwasdrivingupasteep,narrow,tortuous,Scottishmountainroad.Awomanwasdrivingdownthesameroadintheoppositedirection.Astheypasseachotherthewomanleantoutthewindowandshouted:"PIG!!"Jockimmediatelyleantouthiswindowandrepliedwith"BITCH!!"Theyeachcontinueontheirway,butasJockroundedthenextcornerheranintoapiginthemiddleoftheroad....TheClockHillaryClintondiedandwenttoheaven.AsshestoodinfrontofSt.PeteratthePearlyGatesshesawahugewallofclocksbehindhim.Sheasked,"Whatareallthoseclocks?"StPeteranswered,"ThoseareLie-Clocks.EveryoneonEarthhasaLie-Clock.Everytimeyouliethehandsonyourclockwillmove.""Oh,"saidHillary,"whoseclockisthat?""That'sMotherTheresa's.Thehandshavenevermovedindicatingthatshenevertoldalie.""Whoseclockisthat?""That'sAbrahamLincoln'sclock.ThehandshaveonlymovedicetellingusthatAbeonlytold2liesinhisentirelife.""WhereisBill'sclock?"Hillaryasked."Bill'sclockisinJesus'office.Heisusingitasaceilingfan."OneEngineLeftA747washalfwayacrosstheAtlanticwhenthecaptaingotontheloudspeaker,"Attention,passengers.Wehavelostoneofourengines,butwecancertainlyreachLondonwiththethreewehaveleft.Unfortunately,wewillarriveanhourlateasaresult."Shortlythereafter,thepassengersheardthecaptain'svoiceagain,"Guesswhat,folks.Wejustlostourthirdengine,butpleasebeassuredwecanflywithonlyone.WewillnowarriveinLondonthreehourslate."Atthispoint,onepassengerbecamefurious."ForPete'ssake,"heshouted,"Ifweloseanotherengine,we'llbeuphereallnight!"InthemorningMr.Smithesintothegardenatthebackofhishouse.Heseesmuchsnow(雪)inthegarden.Mr.Smithwantstotakehiscarout,soheasksamantocleantheroadfromhisgarage(车库)tothegate(大门).Hesaystotheman,”Don'tthrowanysnowonthatside.Itwilldamage(损坏)flowersinthestreet,orthepolicemanwille.”Thenhegoesout.Whenheesback,theroadisclean.Thereisnosnowontheflowers,onthewallorinthestreet.Butwhenheopenthegarage,heseesthegarageisfullofsnow(被雪充满),thesnowfromtheroad,andhiscarisunderthesnow!AbeautifulyoungblondewomanboardsaplanetoLAwithaticketforthecoachsection.Shelooksattheseatsincoachandthenlooksaheadtothefirstclassseats.Seeingthatthefirstclassseatsappeartobemuchlargerandmorefortable,shemovesforwardtothelastemptyone.Theflightattendantchecksherticketandtellsthewomanthatherseatisincoach.Theblondereplies,"I'myoung,blondeandbeautiful,andI'mgoingtosithereallthewaytoLA."Flustered,theflightattendantgoestothecockpitandinformsthecaptainoftheblondeproblem.Thecaptaingoesbackandtellsthewomanthatherassignedseatisincoach.Again,theblondereplies,"I'myoung,blondeandbeautiful,andI'mgoingtosithereallthewaytoLA."Thecaptaindoesn'twanttocauseamotion,andsoreturnstothecockpittodiscusstheblondewiththeco-pilot.Theco-pilotsaysthathehasablondegirlfriend,andthathecantakecareoftheproblem.Hethengoesbackandbrieflywhisperssomethingintotheblonde'sear.Sheimmediatelygetsup,says,"Thankyousomuch,"hugstheco-pilot,andrushesbacktoherseatinthecoachsection.Thepilotandflightattendant,whowerewatchingwithraptattention,togetherasktheco-pilotwhathehadsaidtothewoman.Hereplies,"Ijusttoldherthatthefirstclasssectionisn'tgoingtoLA."英语幽默笑话：一：SheDidn"tSayAnythingAmotherandsonwerewashingdisheswhilethefatheranddaughterwerewatchingTVintheroom.Suddenly,therewasacrashofbreakingdishes,thenpletesilence.Thegirllookedatherfatherandsaid,“ItwasMom”。“Howdoyouknow?”askedherfather.“Shedidn"tsayanything.”二：IHaveTurnedItOverAwomansaidtoherhu***and,“dear,lookatoursheet!It"stoodirty.Wouldyouliketowashitnow?”Themanlookedatthesheetandthenthoughtforawhileandthensaid,“Idon"tthinkit"snecessary.Wecanturnthesheetover.Isthatallright?”英语笑话这里面有的，可以看看：//sxuu/loveu/Article/english/yyxx/200508/22000英语幽默双关歇后语：）~//sxszjzx/~t207/wht_2Teacher:Whyareyoulateforschooleverymorning?Tom:EverytimeIetothecorner,asignsays,"School-Goslow".老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行".DoYouKnowMyWork？Onenightahotelcaughtfire，andthepeoplewhowerestayinginitranoutintheirnightclothes．Twomenstoodoutsideandlookedatthefire．“BeforeIcameout，”saidone，“Iranintosomeoftheroomsandfoundalotofmoney．Peopledon'tthinkofmoneywhenthey'reafraid．Whenanyoneleavespapermoneyinafire，thefireburnsit．SoItookallthebillsthatIcouldfind．NoonewillbepoorerbecauseItookthem．”“Youdon'tknowmywork，”saidtheother．“Whatisyourwork？”“I'mapoliceman．“Oh！”criedthefirstman．Hethoughtquicklyandsaid，“Anddoyouknowmywork？”“No，”saidthepoliceman．“I'mawriter．I'malwaystellingstoriesaboutthingsthatneverhappened．”译文：（自己简单翻译）你知道我是干什么的吗？一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡衣就跑了出来。两个人站在外面，看着大火。“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。“你是干什么的？”“我是警察。”“噢！”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察说。“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”WhoisthelaziestFather:Well,Jack,Italkedwithyourteachertoday.AndnowIwanttoaskyouaquestion,Whoisthelaziestpersoninyourclass?Jack:Idon`tknow,father.Father:Oh,think!Whenotherboysandgirlsarereadingandwirting,whositsquietlyandonlywatchhowotherpeopleword?Jack:Ourteacher,father.更多的请点击参考资料链接。谢谢！参考资料：//zhidao.baidu/q?word=%D3%A2%CE%C4%D0%A6%BB%B0&ct=17&pn=0&tn=ikaslist&rn=10
初一英语小故事3分钟幽默
AprivateconversationLastweekIwenttothetheatre.Ihadaverygoodseat.Theplaywasveryinteresting.Ididnotenjoyit.Ayoungmanandayoungwomanweresittingbehindme.Theyweretalkingloudly.Igotveryangry.Icouldnotheartheactors.Iturnedround.Ilookedatthemanandthewomanangrily.Theydidnotpayanyattention.Intheend,Icouldnotbearit.Iturnedroundagain.’Ican'thearaword!'Isaidangrily.’It'snoneofyourbusiness,'theyoungmansaidrudely.Thisisaprivateconversation!”参考译文上星期我去看戏。我的座位很好，戏很有意思，但我却无法欣赏。一青年男子和一青年女子坐在我身后大声的说话。我非常生气，因为我听不见演员在说什么。我回过头去怒视着那对青年男女，他们却毫不理会。最后，我忍不住了，又一次回过头去，生气地说：“我一个字也听不见可！”“不管你的事，”那男的毫不客气地说，“这是私人间的谈话！”hello,everyone,nowiwillintroducemyselftoyou,iamxxx,fromxxx,iliketoplaybasketball,andihopeyoutoplaywithme,iamaoutgoingboy,iwanttomakefriendswithallofyou,ithinkwecanbeegoodfriends,ihopewecanlearnfromeachother,then,wecanimprovetogether,andilikethesun,justliketoday`sweather,thesuncantakeagoodemotionforme.that`sall嗨，大家好，现在我向大家介绍我自己，我叫xxx来自xxx，我喜欢玩篮球，我希望你们能跟我一起玩，我是个外向的男孩，我想跟大家交朋友，我想我们都会成为好朋友的，我希望我们可以互相学习，共同进步，并且我喜欢太阳，就像今天的天气，我觉得阳光可以给我带来好的心情。就这样，谢谢。hello,everyone,nowiwillintroducemyselftoyou,iamxxx,fromxxx,iliketoplaybasketball,andihopeyoutoplaywithme,iamaoutgoingboy,iwanttomakefriendswithallofyou,ithinkwecanbeegoodfriends,ihopewecanlearnfromeachother,then,wecanimprovetogether,andilikethesun,justliketoday`sweather,thesuncantakeagoodemotionforme.that`sall嗨，大家好，现在我向大家介绍我自己，我叫xxx来自xxx，我喜欢玩篮球，我希望你们能跟我一起玩，我是个外向的男孩，我想跟大家交朋友，我想我们都会成为好朋友的，我希望我们可以互相学习，共同进步，并且我喜欢太阳，就像今天的天气，我觉得阳光可以给我带来好的心情。就这样，谢谢。
